Delight

God, Today my heart groaned, my soul wrung its sorrow and I cried out to you. I prayed that you show me Your love.
You spoke. To me. 

“Foreign countries will see your righteousness,
and world leaders your glory.
You’ll get a brand-new name
straight from the mouth of God.

You’ll be a stunning crown in the palm of God’s hand,
a jewelled gold cup held high in the hand of your God.

No more will anymore call you Rejected,
and you country will no more be called Ruined.
You’ll be called Hephzibah (My Delight is in her),
and your land Beulah (Married),

Because God delights in you
and your land will be like a wedding celebration.

For as a young man marries his virgin bride,
so your builder marries you,
And as a bridegroom is happy in his bride,
so your God is happy with you.

Isaiah 62:2-5

Thank you Father. For your love, promise, mercy and grace. My tears pour forth in thanksgiving and in gratefulness at first reading of the above verses.

Thank you God. What a comfort to know that You delight in me! From the bottom of my heart, I offer You my most fervent thanks for Your love, blessings and for Jesus, who died on the cross for us. Thank you God.

Love,
Your Princess Warrior

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Red Wine

This two-glasses-of-red-wine-per-day business can’t be good.

Or I am an alcoholic lawyer in the making.

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Valentine (Cover) by Joy & Ann

Love, it’s a special day
We should celebrate and appreciate
That you and me, found something pretty neat
And I know some say this day is arbitrary

But it’s a good excuse to put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I will love you
I’ll love you, I’ll love you

Love, I don’t need those things
I don’t need no ring
I don’t need anything

But you with me
‘Cause in your company
I feel happy, oh so happy and complete

And it’s a good excuse to put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I will love you
I’ll love you, I’ll love you

Yeah it’s a good excuse to put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I will love you
I’ll love you, I’ll love you

So won’t you be my honey bee?
Giving me kisses all the time
Be mine, be my Valentine

So won’t you be my honey bee?
Giving sweet kisses all the time
Be mine, be my Valentine

Oh Oh Whoa Be my Valentine

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I realised my constant writing companion throughout most of year is plurk. Never mind the fickle-minded, immature rants. Never mind the ridiculous, embarrassing and emotional purging on cyber world. Somehow, they never bug me that they are accessible to the public on the internet. Somehow, the emotional jotting down of statements throughout fleeting moments of my life, that streams of consciousness that dots incidents, emotional outbreaks, turning points, intersections in my life never bug me as to how they streak across a sophisticatedly designed line. And when it comes to journal entries and blogs, looking back on what I have written, I have this unexplainable urge to erase and start over. Why? Indeed. It’s puzzling. Even to me.

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I feel like erasing this entire blog and start all over again. What is this irritating nagging feeling that is bugging me? I wish for a blog of font size 10, perhaps 9 of Calibri. Something small that speaks volume. I don’t know. I guess I have a slight obsessive compulsive disorder about how my texts should appear on the computer screen.

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Glimpse

I’ve read a book, with something along the lines that our memories are not built on time. We remember moments, but we often forget the time of the occurrence, definitely vaguely remember the date, the more mechanical definition of time. It’s the epiphanies and the lessons we learn from past occurrences — and as time passes and after we have dwelt on the rationality of things, analysed them, detached from being blinded by emotions and disturbances (e.g. influences & pressures from the outside world) — that we remember, that shape us the way we are today, that influence our philosophies that we currently hold dearly when approaching life and situations.

Growing to be more mature definitely does involve in changing of life’s priorities, but some people prefer staying stagnant and ignorant, while some other people would prefer to push themselves beyond their boundaries to change, to seek and to grow. Perhaps, desperately.

One might be unhappy about their lives (or maybe staying in a seemingly comfortable niche ignorantly, and have no say in whatever life at throws them, accept the bitter pill and just comply) and live a life without passion.

But some might be incredibly upset about life’s situation, but seek to improve, and are determined to change and grow, to learn and approach new life philosophies. Often times, they might surprise many with their adroitness to change from extremes to extremes.

I think I am coming to the stage of learning to unlearn (you know “in order to learn, you have to first unlearn”) and seek a balance.

All in all, I believe the improvement and changes of one’s personalities, philosophies and perhaps characters, depend strongly on how focus and clear-headed one is on life’s goals and heart’s desires; on whether you ask yourself, what do I really want? And then, meditating on your heart’s desires, and goes about approaching life in order to achieve those desires, dreams and goals.

And it’s all good going through troughs, and to have realised that you had made mistakes, focused on the incorrect list of life’s priorities, or perhaps the incorrect order of it, because we learn through life experiences and past mistakes — epiphanies and valuable lessons drawn from them :)

Well, everyone has a different purpose in life, a different agenda, a different life journey one is to travel. It’s not the destination that is of importance, but it’s the journey one should treasure. From the troughs to the peaks, the highs and the lows – those times when I trudge through insufferable moments in my life, they impresses me of my ability to haul myself through hardship; those beautiful revelations; those wonderful moments spent with another, well treasured and kept in the past, because it’ll just be déjà vu, but never the same. As much as you are moving on, the others are too!

However, we have to remember that, we can do our best to improve all areas of our lives, but with those not within our control, we’ll have to leave up to God perhaps, or a higher being (depending on your religious beliefs) because things happen for a reason; and until the end of it all, when all pieces of life’s puzzles fall into place and you see the big picture, walking away with an epiphany, that’s rewarding. :)

“And it came to me then. That we were wonderful travelling companions but in the end no more than lonely lumps of metal in their own separate orbits. From far off they look like beautiful shooting stars, but in reality they’re nothing more than prisons, where each of us is locked up alone, going nowhere. When the orbits of these two satellites of ours happened to cross paths, we could be together. Maybe even open our hearts to each other. But that was only for the briefest moment. In the next instant we’d be in absolute solitude. Until we burned up and became nothing.” — Haruki Murakami (Sputnik Sweetheart)

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know – Ernest Hemingway.

So perhaps, being ignorant will allow us to attain happiness easier?

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Ramblings

It is in losing you that words had found its way to me. (: I shall write you a letter one fine day. Just because I want to. I know you wouldn’t read it, but it doesn’t bother me. I just want to.

*

Exams frenzies. I know I should not be doing this right now at this instant. I swear I have never been this lazy in my entire uni career. ):
But on a lighter note, I find entertainment in the quirky conversations over msn, or facebook, or plurk, or twitter…or even speaking to someone in person for goodness sake!
So, anyways, this happened over msn…

Me: I am going to fail my exams. I haven’t been studying.
C: Then what have you been doing?
Me: Eat. Sleep. Eat. Sleep. Like a pig.
C: Lol. Can I kiss you?
Me: No. You cannot. Swine flu.
C: Huh? But I am not down with swine flu.
Me: Yea. I know. But I am a pig.
C: lol.

Oh, I can so sense his wtfness, but maybe I did cheer him up a little? Come on, give me some credit for that!
Well, hm, just blame it on the exams. Yeah. Blame it on the exams.
Now. HIT THE BLOODY BOOKS! & not to forget, FOCUS & CONCENTRATE! Jeez…

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Peek-a-boo. I see you!

Boiled water. Tea.
Two thermo flasks sitting on the kitchen bench.
Lids off. It’s cooling off time!
Puff, puff, puff.
Swirl, swirl, swirl.
The swirling of hot rising steam.
Rise, rise and then dissapear into thin air.
It’s a wonder. Its unique smoke-like nature.
White. Formless. Its beauty, unattainable, unnoticed almost.
*Wink*  But I caught a glimpse of you! :)

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Reversible?

I’ve gone so far. It is reversible, definitely. It’s possible, but it’s just how long it’s going to take. The reflection staring back at me, just disgusts me. So much. Maybe I should be looking at that reflection, most of the time during the day, because it might help speed up the reverse process. Maybe I’m just lucky — despite the frustration and annoyance of the long way to go with the undoing process —because at least, this is reversible. There are so many other things that aren’t, but they certainly do make a mark in our lives.

Perhaps it is regret, perhaps it’s just how it’s meant to be, but perhaps it’s just another scar gained as we journey through life.  But as much as it was beautiful, and heartbreaking, that now the beauty is gone and disappeared; no turning back compels one to move along and make the best out of life; and the treasured memories will be one of the remarkable, unattainable beauties in life. If ever, it’s just going to be déjà vu, never ever the same with how things were.

And when you look back and reflect, and revise the beautiful imprints of these intersections, you break a bittersweet smile. So sweetly beautiful, yet it breaks your heart — that it will only be etched in your memory forever, never ever to happen again. It always occurs to me that the melancholies outweigh the delights. Do you ever wonder whether we will intersect again? If ever, do you realise the next intersection will never ever be the same again?

Ah, life. As much as we shove these bittersweet memories into the dark corners of our minds, and then fill up the active spaces with new memories; once a while, unconsciously, we take them out, and revise them over. It’s our unconscious minds reminding our conscious minds that we miss those glorious moments.

And so, I am grateful for my loved ones. At least they love me, maybe not completely for whom I am, but at least they are the ones who really care for me and who will be there for me when I need them. With all of our interactions right now, I’ll be grateful for them and I’ll treasure them with all my heart.

To many more interactions and intersections to come

Love always, xoxo, missshin

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On constitutional law…

My constitutional law tutor wants to wear a shirt with political messages on it when she goes and vote for a federal election, or even a state election; and if she is forced to leave, and got a fine because she could not vote, she’ll challenge constitutional law on the basis of implied rights, on implied freedom of political communication.

Nice. :) Now, we’ll just have to wait for her to get her citizenship. Just in case, u’kno, so she won’t get deported, because she’ll be a citizen already.

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